Monday, January 30, 2017

Ask for Help! Chores That Take More Than One Person

My husband and I are blessed to have a Sleep Number bed, and we have enjoyed it for about ten years.  We got it when I was in the height of pain, and I could not stand to be touched.  All of those who have uncontrolled Fibromyalgia know what I am talking about.  Anyway, a few weeks ago, I pushed the button to let some air out, and I had a rude middle of the night experience, which meant I had to wake up my husband.  All the air had gone out of my side as I adjusted the bed, and I couldn't stop it.  That is the only time that has happened to me, and I think it is because the plug to the air unit was knocked loose at the same time I was adjusting the air.  We have one of the older models, so our beds air control is not remote.  My sister has one that has a remote with no cord, and that is awesome.

In the process, I got a view of the unit that puts the air into the mattress.  I usually cannot see it, and you know that old saying, "Out of sight, out of mind."  I bet I had not cleaned it off for five years.  Gross, huh?  It was so dusty, and I determined that I would do it.

When But I Would Rather Do It Myself Is No Longer An Option
However, in my wiser, older age, I knew that pushing and pulling the bed around would not be a smart thing to do.  It's a very heavy bed, and I needed help;  so, I saved the job for a Saturday, when my husband had time to help.   Neither of us were thrilled about doing this any day of the week, much less on a Saturday.  However, my DH (dear husband) knew it was the best thing to do for both of us.

I hope you have someone in your life that can help you with the jobs that are too big for one.  If he had not been here to help, I would have not been able to clean as quickly or as thoroughly as I did today.  I thought about the dust, and how often you will find an elderly person's home terribly dusty.  It is probably because he  or she has a hard time dusting, and can only do a minimal job.  That may be me someday, but as long as I can keep the dust mites at bay, I am going to do my best.  The job may not be perfect every time, but regular dusting and vacuuming make a difference.

Remember to ask someone to help you when you have a two person job.  Even if it is just to help with moving a couple of things, speak up.  You might be surprised if you ask a loved one or a friend if they have time to help.  I also think it would be valid to call a handyman to do a heavy job.  For those who cannot afford to call a handyman, perhaps your church has a deacon's ministry or a men's ministry that will help out their widows and widowers, as well as those who are disabled or quite elderly.

People do not know what you need if you are unwilling to ask for help.   A good example of this would be one of my elderly neighbors.  I know she grows weary of asking for help, but we want to help her.  Recently, she called because her garbage pickup container had fallen over, and she cannot hoist that thing up.  It is just two awkward for her, and she might fall.  I knew I could do it, because I have washed mine out when it was empty, and I assured her I could easily do it.  She is so sweet, because she was worried I would fall.  What I notice about helping others is it makes me happy.  So when you need help, remember that it is also a blessing to those who are willing to serve when you give them the opportunity to do that.

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Just Not Feeling It? Read this!

Today, are you just not feeling it?  You do not have a burning desire to do your housework or any work that needs doing.  However, you do not want to slip in the good habits you have developed, and this is not a day you planned to take off.  So, what do you do?

Consider your options.  Maybe, you do need a day off.  Only you know that, and it is acceptable to make that decision if you are able to work it into your schedule.  However, you may be experiencing a mood change, which means you might need to practice the following steps:

  1. Feel the feeling. Acknowledge it, and don't spend an hour questioning why you feel this way.
  2. Accept it.  
  3. Float right on through this feeling and start doing.

If you are not yet dressed, get your clothes on and comb your hair.  Moisturize and put on makeup (makeup is optional).  Don't forget your shoes. You need to wear comfortable, supportive shoes.

Do the first job.  I like to start in the kitchen.  For you it may be something different, and I realize that having children at home may change the first thing you need to do.  Once you get this far, and time passes, you may not feel like you did when doing housework or other work seemed to be a hard thing to do.  Sometimes, getting started is all you need to do to feel good about your day and to know you can make progress.   Moreover, knowing that you have accomplished some of your goals if not all of them will make you feel so much better at the end of your day.

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

Change Is Possible

Image Courtesy of usamedeniz /
O my goodness! It has been ages since I have written here, but I do check in every once in a while. I just do not have as much time to write, because being more active and getting out more means less time on the computer. Also, my sleep has improved, so I am not up in the middle of the night, writing blog posts as much as I used to do. In fact, I really need to go do some house cleaning right now, so I am going to get off the computer soon. My lesson here is that I could feel guilty that I am not posting here daily anymore, but my family is important to me, and I need to care for my family and home--so I Do Not feel guilty. Also, one of the things I have been working toward in my particular journey is getting out around people more, and that takes time too.
Image Courtesy of Stuart Miles /
Actually getting out is far different than being in the house all the time, which was my plight for quite a few years. One of the projects I hope to get to this summer is to write about what I think has helped me to be able to do that. I am still working on getting out regularly. I don't know if it will never get to the point that I do not have to actually think about the process of how to get out around other people or not. I am just thankful to God that I am able to do it now; and right now, I still have to use the steps that help me do that -- baby steps.

Baby Steps can lead you into real change, but you have to be willing to do the work, which includes actually moving your body more (I am talking about getting off the couch and doing some housework or running some errands.) I am not suggesting you get into a workout program, especially without the proper physical therapy support. How you move more or where is up to you and your medical team. I found the most practical thing for me was adding a little bit of movement every day or every week, as appropriate to my physical condition. I do mine through everyday actions: cleaning, adding a few extra steps, etc. Maybe eventually, I will add in more formal physical exercises; however, I am experiencing real change, because I have been willing to move more. I have to add that the natural products I take helped me with that. To leave that out would be leaving out something that I feel was a huge breakthrough for me. The supplements I use have been fairly easy for me to get the right mix, something that would have been so hard to figure out on my own and hard to buy quality I felt I could trust in the stores. (If you want to know more about the products I use, please message me on Facebook at )
For those of you who deal with illnesses, you may say to me that I do not understand; however, I do. It has taken years, finding the right supplements and meds, as well as working on the mental aspects of my life that had changed through illness and other things in my life. It has taken spiritual assessment and re-surrendering to Jesus/God. I am still a work in process: I will be until the day I see Jesus face to face.
Image Courtesy of David Castillo Dominici /
Finally, I would say, "Do not give up." Even a small amount of progress is progress. The steps backward will happen, and you will be tempted to say that this is an impossible journey; however, nothing is too hard for God. I have had plenty of steps backwards, but that just opened up an opportunity to take another step forward. It is easier than it was when I started, but every step forward leads to added achievements (small achievements add up). Sometimes, I fall into a funk and feel like a failure, but I know things are better here than they were. I keep chipping away. It is worth it. Again, I say, "It is worth it!"

Image Courtesy of WorldWideStock /

It is not just one thing that has helped me. It is a combination of things: spiritual, psychological, supplements (natural products), medication (I am actually taking less medication now), and action. I put spiritual first, because God is first in my life and I believe God has led me through this maze of life. I am on the path. Jesus is my Savior, and He did not say we would never see trouble, irregardless of what some prosperity gospel advocates and gurus seem to spout.
One of the hardest barriers to break has been panic attacks involved with going to certain places and agoraphobia. There are real psychological barriers that become entrenched in our brains. I am not going to even attempt to explain that here, but I have read about the loops that we can get stuck in; and, my understanding is there is a neurological, physical thing here involving neurons and synapses in the brain that can be broken through behavioral conditioning. I feel like I have had a small battering ram to get past some of the cyclical loops, then they tried to close in behind me to get me stuck again. I found a book that has been helpful. Also, I have a couple of other tools listed below that have been very helpful in breaking the cyclical loops caused by chemicals in the brain that affect fight and flight syndrome (anxiety and panic attacks). The reason I mention this is I know the things that hold us back can be complicated because of the mental and the physical things we have gone through (are going through). Even writing about this is starting to give me a bit of a headache: going over the past over and over again does not change a thing for me, but looking forward and taking baby steps has helped tremendously. Fearing what might come next is a fruitless exercise; but, living today as it is and taking small steps forward is life-changing.

Scriptures, Articles, and Books You May Find Helpful

This is not an exhaustive list. I hope you find something here you can use. There are other coping techniques that have been helpful for me in the past, but I have listed the two that I use the most now along with scripture.

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Procrastination, Fatigue, Overwhelmed?

Let me begin this short thought piece with this clarification, which is you know your body better than anyone else.  Well, hopefully you do.  Maybe, there are some people that are not in touch with their bodies, so they are not sure when to rest and when to be active;  but, I fully believe one can learn to know.  Also, when in doubt, take baby steps and see how you feel.

Today, I have a job to do that I put off for
  • when I wasn't tired.
  • when I didn't have something more important to do.
  • when I felt like it, which has nothing to do with how my body feels.
What I have found is putting off what needs to be done, just makes things worse.  Whether it is picking up in your house, cleaning, writing a letter, making a phone call, getting that new router up and running, filling your weekly pill container, or any other chore you can thing of, it helps to pick one job and start it with a small step.  One little step is the beginning to moving forward.

If I have hit a rocky road on my path to moving forward, I am still ahead of where I used to be, because I am building on the habits I had begun to establish.  Even if I have steps backwards, I can use the same method of baby steps to return to keeping my house clean, getting rid of clutter, or any other job that needs to be done.  Wallowing in guilt or failure is really not an option.  It just keeps me frozen.  I cannot wait until I feel "mentally" ready to get the job done.  The step seems to be the thing that has to come first for me;  then, the mental readiness gets easier.

This is written from my personal experience.  It is my opinion, and it is not meant to be a diagnosis for changing anything in anyone else's life.  I am simply sharing that by actually taking a small step to get something done, I am able to feel less overwhelmed.  Taking baby steps helps me to break the cycle of procrastination.  It encourages me to get moving and to move forward in my life.

I hope small steps will help you move forward too.